Christmas is not all Magic & Light

Christmas is not all magic and light when you’re a parent who is separated or divorced.   

Everywhere you go you see the images of Christmas as a time of togetherness.  Families in matching pyjamas drinking hot chocolate and playing games.  But for some, the holiday season is incredibly challenging emotionally.   

I remember going through this myself.  Emotionally I felt so upset when my children would leave me to spend Christmas Day with their dad.  Now I know they have a great time and it’s important for them to spend time with their dad and his family.  But I missed them.  Alot!   

Yesterday I was invited to Broadcasting House to speak live on BBC Radio with Dotun Adebayo about how tough Christmas can be for separated families. We discussed the pressures of co-parenting, blended families, and those heartbreaking moments when children leave one parent on Christmas Day. But we also explored practical ways to make the holidays more manageable. 

You can listen to the full recording of my interview on BBC Radio London here.  

It’s never going to be easy to manage your emotions during this time, but here are a few things I did to help myself:  

1. Focus on the children: Remember, Christmas is about creating happy memories for your kids. Keep the mood light and positive, even if it’s tough emotionally. 
2. Create new traditions: If the usual traditions no longer fit, embrace this opportunity to start fresh. Try something simple, like baking cookies or having a festive movie night. 
3. Plan an alternate Christmas Day – if you don’t have the children on Xmas Day 
4. Look After Yourself: Take time to recharge—whether it’s a quiet walk, reading, or just taking a moment to breathe amid the chaos. 

If you’re spending Christmas without your children, you will feel sad.  I remember crying the whole day even though I was surrounded by my family.   Spend time with loved ones, enjoy a favourite meal, or do something meaningful for yourself. 

Let’s remember, Christmas doesn’t have to look perfect to be special. It’s about finding those small moments of peace and joy, no matter the circumstances. 

If you need support or more tips, do reach out – I’m only a click away. 

Wishing you and your loved ones a peaceful holiday season. 

Sending love